| He's cool. | |
| He's a kid. | |
| He's a Greg... | |
| He's Cool Kid Greg! |
| He's cool. | |
| He's a kid. | |
| He's a Greg... | |
| He's Cool Kid Greg! |
A: "Cool Kid Greg" is a fictitious alter-ego of Bryn Athyn College student Greg S.
Origins: The Tale of a Kid Becoming Cool
Year: 2012. On a dim day in the dark depths of Childs Hall,
a rag-tag group of lads were sharing a laugh and having some fun playing mindless video games.
It was in this crucible of ingenuity that Cool Kid Greg was to be conceived.
Greg, a small, awkward college kid, entered the rag-tag group's stomping ground-- a dingy little lounge. He got up the nerve and chirped a little "hi guys!" to the scallywags who were playing Assasin's Creed. The boys did not say "hi" back.
"Was that bird chirping?" one of them asked, with genuine confusion. (It was the dead middle of winter, after all).
"Oh, Aladdin's Greed?" said Greg, eagerly. "Can I join next round?"
Again, there was no reply.
"Yeah, pretty sure it was some sort of bird," said one of the boys.
The next day, the hooligans were at it again, this time playing League of Legends.
Enter Greg. "Ooo, I love Lego Legions!! Say, is there room on your server for one more?!"
The leader of the pack, a charismatic piece of muscle named Kiki, yawned in acknowledgement. He appeared to take pitty on Greg, though he didn't take his eyes off of his Bejeweled game which he was playing on the big screen TV. (The other boys were playing League on their laptops. Kiki had already beaten that game, so he had moved onto Bejewled). "Aww, buddy, ummm... Boy, uh, I'm so sorry... There's uhhh no more room on the server actually!"
Greg understood; He wasn't surprised -- servers get full. So he sat and contentedly watched Kiki and the other boys frolic in digital realms of bliss.
At least I have some real friends now, Greg thought to himself.
Time passed, and day after day Greg crept into the lounge to watch the boys and their games. Occasionally he would see if he could join in. "Room for three on the server?" he would ask wistfully, only to be gently rejected with a conciliatory "Aww, I'm sorry buddy... Server is just so full, again!"
Greg tried everything to be included in the boys' games, but even well-designed cat memes made in an effort to impress the geeky lot had no effect on the boys and were barely even noticed.
But then one day, everything changed.
The night started out normally enough. Greg floated into the lounge, and asked with utmost politeness to join in the fun.
"Awww man, I'm sorry... uhh there really is just uhhh no room on the server, AGAIN! Can you believe it?"
Greg decided that no, he could not believe it. He decided that he had had enough and he wasn't going to take "no more room on the server" for an answer any more. "Give me a controller, I'm playing," he said, with confidence.
And in that moment, Cool Kid Greg was born. The dragon awoke from his slumber. Jekyll came out from Hyding, you might say, in literary terms.
"Cool Kid Greg, huh?" said Kiki. "Oh, it's 'Cool Kid Greg'. Cool." He said with reverent sarcasm.
And with that, Greg became part of the gang. He still didn't join in with the video games, except on rare occasions, because he really didn't like
playing video games. But whenever he did want a turn, all he had to do was perform his secret move and summon the power of Cool Kid Greg.
THE END.
A: Cool Kid Greg's secret move is called the "hat twist." When initializing Cool-Kid-Greg-Mode, Greg pretends to grab the brim of a make-believe
baseball cap and twist this hat sideways with a quick jerk of the forearm. The right hand should be used in performing this move, and the "hat" ought to be twisted in a
widdershins fashion to be performed properly.
WARNNING: this gesture can be very intimidating
if done with a serious scowl. If you must use the Secret Move, then you should only use it with deliberate discretion and precision.
A:
Shout out to my main man,a fellow cool-kid-Greg!
